It ain’t easy being green, that great philosopher Kermit once said. And right now I feel pretty green.
Had some strength and conditioning test with Will on Saturday, and I’d officially like to say that he’s a prick. Luckily, I’m a prick, so I can see where he’s coming from. The results were pathetic bar one. But first, the excuses!
1. I haven’t really been training regularly on account of injury and so on.
2. I lost a lot of strength after being poisoned by myself that time
3. All I’d had to eat was eggs and toast that morning
4. I’d sparred a couple of rounds earlier
5. It was a really cold day, that puts me off sometimes.
6. No really it was cold I hate the cold
7. Will only explained each test to me twice, I needed one more explanation I think
8. I got stage fright
9. The equipment was too good, I didn’t want to break it
That’s about all I can think of right now. Truth be told I suck on several counts. Firstly I suck because I’ve allowed some of the strength I had to slip away. This would be my upper body pushing strength- bench and push ups. Secondly, I’ve neglected vitally important areas which I’ve detailed in other posts- my back being the obvious one. Without further Apu, here’s the results:
Max Push ups in 1 minute- 33 (disputed by Will who says 31 but now I have video evidence)
Target here is 50+. These are gold standard, chest to palm with full extension at the top. Hoored through 25 then hit the wall. Thought these would be much, much better. Having had some time to digest the results, probably not all that surprised though given the last 3 months of relative inactivity.
Max Inverted Rows in 1 minute- 6 (no you read that right)
Target here is 40+. This comes back to my weakness in my back (see previous posts). I can get so far on the 7th, 8th reps and so on but just fail to get the last pinch. This is probably going to be the hardest score to get to, not just because I’m so far off it, but because I have to totally relearn how to pull.
Max bodyweight bench presses- 0
Duck egg here, my target is 12+. Will doesn’t believe that it’s not so long since I was repping my bodyweight but either Jonny or Capper have seen those lifts so help me please and put him straight. Will reckons I’ll get 3 on my next test after Christmas, but I’m going to go all out and say I’ll get 5+. I have no basis for that contention other that I’m going to be stubborn. Got the bar off my chest and then…. nothing
Pull Ups- 5
Target is 12+. Again something I think I can improve quite quickly. Maybe up to 8 or 10 by the next test. We’ll see.
Trap Bar Deadlift- 160kgs
At last, I hit a target, and I actually felt like there was a few more kgs in that lift, I would have been reasonably confident going to 180 but it’s a good thing I didn’t because I had to do…
30 second rower intervals- 170m, 159m, 154m, 150m, 148m, 147m
Essentially the lesson here was a lack of power. After my initial pull which didn’t exactly set the world on fire, the rate of decrease was relatively flat as you can see. In other words my endurance is pretty good, but what I was enduring wasn’t all that high. The target for the next test is to pull 185m+ for the first pull and then we’ll see after that. This is another one that I’m reasonably confident that given a bit of training I can hit. Will was telling me that some guys shit themselves on this test after they feel the lactate around the third interval. I actually didn’t feel the lactate kick until the last two. I guess the cross country runner in me is still kicking instead of the fighter.
So in summary, I had my suspicions that I am both old and weak, but now I have proof. The plan in the next few weeks is to do exactly what I’m told, when I’m told to do it. To get some consistency into my training on the mat and to get my back working. Soon I will roll back the year (not years, just year, it’s been a bad one) and become a better machine. Right now the unit isn’t working as it should and it’s questionable based on these results whether it ever has.
I also have to do a big update on the fighters progress which I’ll try to get done later on.